prevailing thoughts

I am weary, God, but I can prevail.         Proverbs 30:1

 

I am weary. I’m worn out. I’m used up.

I can’t get my head around all the things to do,

So when do I figure out how to get it done?

Too much to consider; no space for thinking.

 

I am not in despair. I’m just always in transition.

I said I would follow wherever you led and I meant it as best I could,

But who knew following was such a persistent practice?

Always going, always gone, but never there.

 

Who knew it could be like this? I certainly didn’t.

I’m not complaining, I’m just saying,

I am weary.

 

But I can prevail. Can’t I?

I can prevail. I believe that, right?

I’m supposed to believe that. So I do.

Until I don’t. When I don’t

 

I want to believe that. I want to BE that.

But some days I’d rather hide.

What about some time to sleep?

Not sleep for sleep, but sleep for forgetting. For hiding. For just not doing.

 

Again, I’m not complaining, I’m just saying,

Who knew it could be like this? I didn’t.

I am weary, but I think I’ll prevail.

I just wish I could hide for a little while.

 

It’s a fight to believe and struggle and follow.

I get it—the way of the narrow and all that.

But I’m not a fighter so what now?

That’s not true, I love to fight. Just not today.

 

So maybe I’ll hide.

Just a little. Just for a while. Just today.

But where to hide? Where to hit the snooze undisturbed?

I’m not looking to quit, just stop for a while.

 

I know I’m complaining, but still I’m just saying,

Who knew it would be like this? I guess I did—at least a little.

I am weary, but I will prevail.

First I just need a little rest.

 

Keep me as the apple of your eye; hide me in the shadow of your wings  Psalm 17:8

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